- A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
- Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”
- Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says “Are you sure?” The first replies “Yes, I’m positive.”
- Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
- Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him …….. A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
- There was a person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
(HT: Jessica Melling)